Monday morning has come around again and it’s a new week and new opportunity to set some goals, review your progress and align with your vision for living the life you are destined for.
How regularly do you set a new set of goals and check in on the ones you have? I have goals I set each morning, each week, each month, each quarter or even each year of varying sizes. The one I find the most helpful is weekly goals starting every Monday. Having a day of the week to prompt an audit and check in help me stay on track. Seven days is a good length of time for me to really achieve some tangible success that I like to then break down into smaller more manageable daily chunks.
What is the main goal you're going to smash week? There are 7 super simple ways to make goals that you smash with EASE. It’s all about the goal-setting theory behind it. If you understand how to set goals, you will succeed much faster and much more easily.
1) Baby steps and small chunked down goals
Set one goal and make it a teeny tiny one. Make it sound like the easiest thing in the world, almost so easy you think it’s pointless, but it’s not at all. This is because once you achieve that goal you get a dopamine hit and that makes you feel rewarded about continuing in a positive way making progress because your brain’s reward centre is dishing out the feel-good factor. It is better to set a small goal you smash out of the ballpark than a big goal you’ll struggle to achieve. This will mean you want to feel doubly good and will continue with the goal.
For example, you want to run a 10K next year, but you don’t run right now.
Set your goal to run for 5 minutes every day. I know what your thinking, Rosie, WHAT THE FUCK?! 5 minutes that’s ridiculous, I’m not going to put on my gym clothes, stretch to run for 5 minutes that’s insane. Well exactly, it is no pressure at all, so if you really can’t be bothered to run you do those 5, but most days once you start, you will want to do more.
This also building in a regular habit of running rather than going for 2 long runs that may injure you. The next week if you’ve smashed it go to 10 minutes, then 15, then 20, and before you know it you have built up a habit of running a few miles every single day and your 10k is in.the.bag. The other added benefit is it builds in a relationship of trust with yourself every time you succeed in doing that small thing.
Another example is your goal is to save £200. You have a few options on how to make the smallest and easiest change you can.
1) Start by putting £1 in a pot, or a separate account, each day. If that sounds a lot, do 50p. When you hit a certain amount, then up the limit again, the same way. Small easy steps that are no sweat and get your reward centre going.
2) Another way to achieve this would be to find one small thing you buy that could be cheaper, for example, do you buy lunch for work? Where and what’s your budget, can you save 50p-£1 each day by making a cheaper choice?
3) Are there any purchases you make that bring you no joy? Try to make them cheaper and then put the money you make from it in the same saving pot (switch where you do your groceries, bills, contracts, gym memberships)
2) The most effective goals are intrinsically motivated
Intrinsic Motivation VS Extrinsic Motivation
One of the first things I do with the women I work with in my Soulful Success Acceleator programme is figure out whether their dreams are intrinsically or extrinsically motivated, because it makes such a huge difference in terms of how they approach the smaller goals they need to achieve that big vision. So here’s a brief overview of the two types of motivation so you can check in see whether its helping or hindering your goal setting.
Intrinsic goals: These goals are all about doing or chasing something that’s personally meaningful to you. These goals fuel your core needs and wants - who you are as a person. They pertain to your passions, interests, and core values as well as your relationships and your personal growth.
Intrinsic goals satisfy your core human needs for relatedness, competence, and autonomy. They include goals about relationships, personal growth, physical health, self-acceptance, and contribution.
Extrinsic goals: These goals help you achieve something outside of yourself. They are often about obtaining other people’s validation and approval or external signs of self-worth.
They are about polishing your public image, becoming famous, getting rich, or seeking power over others.
Compared to intrinsic goals, extrinsic goals are all about the prize at the end of the journey. They are about getting to a certain outcome while completely neglecting the process to get there.
An extrinsically motivated person looks at something as a means to an end. It’s all about getting “there”. It’s about the outcome, not the process.
Let’s look at a couple of examples. You’ll get what I mean immediately:
Exercising to impress others (extrinsic)
Exercising to feel more energized (intrinsic)
Studying to get a good grade (extrinsic)
Studying because the topic excites and interests you (intrinsic)
Starting your own business to become rich (extrinsic)
Starting your own business because you are passionate about it and want to make a positive change in the world (intrinsic)
Getting a job promotion because you want to command other people around and make more money (extrinsic)
Getting a job promotion because you want to help the business and enjoy taking more responsibility (intrinsic)
2) Approach goals are much easier for our brain to process than avoid goals
Approach VS Avoid Goals
Approach-oriented goals involve reaching or maintaining desired outcomes. Avoidance goals focus on avoiding or eliminating undesired outcomes. Although both types of goals are common in our lives and both are functional, one goal-type is associated with more happiness than the other. I also think that there's something to learn about procrastination here.
Almost anything can be framed as an approach or avoidance goal. For example, I could frame an approach goal as "make my house sparkle" (because I like it that way), or "vacuum, dust and scrub the floors today" (to avoid being criticized again). I could head to the gym “to stay strong and fit”, or “to avoid heart disease.”
3) Write your goals down somewhere
You are 42 percent more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. Writing your goals down not only forces you to get clear on what, exactly, it is that you want to accomplish, but doing so plays a part in motivating you to complete the tasks necessary for your success.
To superpower how effective this is, secondly make an implementation intention to act on a specific day at a specific time and put it in your calendar/ diary/ phone. Set reminders, alarms, notifications to prompt the action.
4) DON'T tell anyone your goal until you achieve it
We think it will hold us accountable but multiple studies show that sharing your goals with everyone before you start putting in the work towards them can actually make you LESS likely to ever achieve them. It may seem counter-intuitive but here's why:
Reason #1: Receiving premature praise for a goal makes follow-through less likely.
Perhaps the most popular research about goal sharing and motivation is by Peter Gollwitzer of NYU. In 2009, Gollwitzer and his colleagues published research suggesting the simple act of sharing your goal publicly can make you less likely to do the work to achieve it.
In one study, law students were asked to fill out a questionnaire that measured their commitment to making the most of their educational opportunities. Those whose answers indicated a high level of commitment to becoming lawyers were then split into two groups. For the first group, an experimenter looked at each participant’s questionnaire and then asked them to confirm that the answer they circled was the one they had intended. The second group, however, dropped their questionnaires into a box and understood their responses were anonymous.
After that, both groups were given 45 minutes to work on legal cases. The first group, whose answers had been acknowledged, spent less time working on the cases than the second group, whose answers were anonymous.
Researchers concluded that when someone notices your identity goal, that social recognition is a reward that may cause you to reduce your efforts. So in this case, the students who stated they were committed to becoming lawyers had already achieved that identity in their mind thanks to the experimenter’s acknowledgement of their answers.
So if your goal is closely tied to your identity, it might be best to keep it to yourself. This way, premature praise won’t fool you into feeling like you’ve already achieved your aim.
Reason #2: Receiving “person praise” versus “process praise” could decrease your motivation.
In a Reed College study, researchers attempted to gauge the effect certain types of praise have on our motivation. They assigned 111 college students to one of three groups:
Person praise: Feedback related to the individual.
Process praise: Feedback related to the method taken.
No praise: No feedback.
Each group was then asked to complete three puzzles.
After completing the first two puzzles, students in the person praise group received written feedback such as, “Excellent! You must have a natural talent!” Students in the process praise group received feedback such as, “Excellent! You must be using some really effective strategies!” And the third group received no praise.
The third and final puzzle was meant to induce failure, and students in all groups received feedback that simply said, “You didn’t do as well on this last one.”
Following the first two puzzles, questionnaire answers showed there was no effect on the participants’ intrinsic motivation. But after the third “failure” puzzle, results showed that, across all grade levels, person praise was less motivating than process praise. Seniors, in particular, reported greater intrinsic motivation after process praise versus person praise or no praise at all.
These results led researchers to infer that “all age groups beyond preschool appear to be more positively affected by process praise than person praise after encountering failure.”
While it’s natural for the people you love to praise you after you announce an intention, this study suggests that when someone praises you for an inherent trait that you have little to no control over, it isn’t very helpful. Further, in some cases, it may be less motivating than receiving no praise at all, particularly after you experience failure.
So, for example, if you were to announce that you want to become fluent in Mandarin, and everyone responded with person praise, such as, “Wow, you must be really smart!” and then you fail your Mandarin test, that setback could negatively affect your motivation to achieve your goal. It’s more helpful if people respond with praise focused on your process, such as, “That’s awesome that you practice new vocabulary every morning!”
Reason #3: If you’re a beginner, getting negative feedback could stop you.
In 2011, University of Chicago professor Ayelet Fishbach reviewed existing research and conducted new studies to determine how positive and negative feedback affect the pursuit of one’s goal. She and her team found:
When positive feedback signals commitment to a goal, it increases motivation.
When positive feedback signals progress, it actually decreases motivation.
One example the researchers give is a math student who gets a good grade on a test. If she perceives it to mean she likes math, she will study harder. If, however, she sees the high score as a sign she is making progress in the class, she may ease up and study less.
To further test this, Fishbach and her team studied American students enrolled in beginner and advanced French classes. They found that students in the beginner class were more interested in having an instructor who emphasized positive feedback. In contrast, students in the advanced class were more interested in an instructor who emphasized negative feedback.
In a follow-up study of American participants learning a new task of typing in German, the researchers found similar results: As the participants advanced, a larger proportion sought negative feedback.
Researchers concluded that beginners are concerned with evaluating their commitment to a goal, so they’re more likely to stick to a goal when they receive positive feedback. Experts, on the other hand, are concerned with their actual progress toward a goal, so they’re more likely to stick to it when they receive negative feedback.
So if your goal is to run a marathon and you’re an experienced runner, you may want to share your intention with another runner who can give you critical feedback to help you improve. If, however, this is your first time running a race, you’ll want to share your goal with someone who will give you positive feedback to encourage you.
6) Hire someone to help
The only exception to the above point is unless you need someone else to help you achieve the goal, e.g hiring a coach or a personal trainer or a nutritionist to help you in the process of setting and achieving big goals.
A good coach can help you get clearer about your goals and dreams, and about what you're capable of doing in order to achieve them. They can also be a powerfully useful support system on your journey: someone who knows you very well and wants the best for you — but is a neutral third party. Unlike your family or your employees, your coach isn't dependent on you for his or her success. He or she can be honest with you about how you're doing, reminding you of what you've said you want to achieve and letting you know what you're doing that's supporting your intentions — or getting in your way. Finally, and most importantly, your coach can teach you new ways of thinking and operating, new skills that will allow you to better reach your goals and create the career you want.
If you are ready to feel fully supported in making your dream life your reality and setting and smashing your goals, a large part of my Soulful Success Accelerator covers goal setting in more depth and supports you to overcome overwhelm and get out of feeling stuck once and for all. Book a free consultation below to see if we are the right fit for working together.
7) Don't give up on feeling good in the future to avoid discomfort in the present.
Visualisation of achieving the goal and the feeling that comes from that will help train your brain to have a future focus rather than a present moment focus.
Make sure you are crystal clear on your why, what will you feel or be able to do as a result of achieving the goal, map it out and make it tangible and when you start to give the excuses to yourself about why the moment right now is not the right one (is avoiding the fear of what people will think of you right now REALLY worth giving up on the dream that sets your soul alight in the future?)
For example, does ‘saving the energy’ (saying I can’t be bothered to go to the gym) really outweigh the benefits of feeling amazing and energised afterwards, having a healthy body and mind, all of the endorphins, fitting your clothes perfectly and being strong and fit? No, it doesn’t at all, but our mindset naturally favours avoid present tense pain or discomfort and this seriously hold us back when we want to achieve our goals.